I really shouldn't be allowed to blog when feeling this drowsy and congested. My thoughts are just as drowsy and congested.

Tonight was a great night, even though I remained sober for it. We threw Sara a surprise birthday keg. Good times, good people, and no cops :) I fucking love my roommates. We are passionate/tempremental as hell but I love them with all my heart. When it comes right down to it they are my life here at Bradley and college would basically suck without them. TO REHAB! I cheers you with my diet pepsi tonight ...

Life continues to be a combination of highs and lows, I don't quite know how to feel sometimes. Some things are good, some things are bad ... and some things are okay. But really the good things are amazing, the bad things aren't quite so bad and the other things remain okay. (I told you I shouldn't be blogging in this drowsy state)

I hate missing people and times and places ...

Maybe I'll make sense next time ...

So much to say, yet really not anything that needs to be said at all ...

This schedule this semester is going to exhaust me. On paper it didn't sound so bad. But I am finding myself so incredibly tired already and I don't even have any class work yet. But oh well, nothing I can do about it.

I am looking forward to a lot this semester though. It's going to be a year of change, but I don't think that's incredibly a bad thing. Then again I always seem to be optimistic about these things in the beginning ...

As for the shenanigans of my houshold ... What can I do? I have my opinions about it all but who's to say who is right and who is wrong? We thought we knew what it would be like to live together but as cheesy as it sounds ... we had no idea. Personally all I can do is enjoy the time in the house that I get to share with each of my roommates. And quit the fucking bitching that I do. Because that's not going to fix anything. For my part unless someone does something to ME, I'm not going to make it my business. Sounds obvious right? *sigh* I'm just so tired of life right now. I'm having a good start to the year in general but all this drama weighs me down and my schedule exhausts me ... It just does not lead to a good situation.

But on a brighter note I ORDERED OUR DEF LEPPARD/ JOURNEY TICKETS!!! Road Trip! Woot!

That's all I got ...


Also, I hate that I suck at keeping in touch with people that aren't within 5 miles of me ... :(

Okay that really was all I got.

I apologize ahead of time if this post turns out sounding emo and or vague bitchy or the type of entry that I usually hate when people write. It happens.

I've never felt so incredibly optimistic, assured, frustrated, pessimistic, nervous, anxious, good about life before. The beginning of this year is both making me extremely happy and balanced and throwing me off and making me unsure of what is to come. On the school side I am excited about my classes, I think that I will do well and I think I'm ready to start to delve into my major more seriously and look around for potential internships. Work wise I love both my part time jobs and feel that I am getting better about making decisions with my money. Rationalization is my achilles heel. But I'm starting to get better. The only downside about work is the obvious car issue. We'll just have to see how it plays out ... Relationship wise I am happier than I have ever been before with him. Everyday I think that I can't possibly love him any more and then the next day I am shocked when I do. Being able too see him every day again makes me so happy and no matter how I am feeling at the end of a day, everything is alright because he's there. Sometimes I start feeling very anxious to finish college and start the next phase of our lives together. But I know we've got a good thing going in the present as well. At Kappa Delta things are going fantastic. It feels so incredible to be a junior and past my sophomore year hump. I'm at the point where I can truly say I respect every girl in the house, I'm proud to be a KD. I have made amazing friendships and I also know that I am not going to ever be best friends with everyone. ButI truly feel so proud to be a KD and involved in the house. I absolutely cherish my 1607 girls. But at the same time I live with very passionate people and it's going to be interesting (as expected) to see how we all deal with each other day to day. Peronsonally I'm just gonna go along for the ride and do what I do. Tensions will run high sometimes and there's nothing I can do but live my life, fix behavior if it is warranted and basically pick and choose my battles. I hope that things calm down and the house isn't a war zone every day. Because I consider myself a pretty chill person and I won't deal with drama if it's not my drama to deal with. That's just the way it's gonna go. On a new subject DAMN are Peoria cops being bitches this week. First Jamie Katie and Denise get busted at a keg at Danny and Randy's that wasn't even out of control, then some Kappa Deltas come hang outat 1607 and the cops roll by and scare us. Luckily there weren't any drinking tickets or anything like that, but it just sucks that we are finally juniors, have our own place, and have to be even more careful about drinking than the past two years when we really were crazy immature underclassmen. But you just gotta adapt to the surroundings. I've lessened my drinking significantly recently anyways, and I really am gladder for it. I've gotten to the point that I don't look for every single opportunity to drink. I take the opportunites that come, the situations that are sociable. But I don't drink to get 'wasted' anymore. Goodness knows that will change at some point I'm sure. But I'm just really antsy to turn 21 and feel a little more freedom. Drinking less and feeling more responsible makes me feel both really good and also a little sad. I feel like the freshman/sophomore era of college is at a close and something new is beginning. Now I'm just rambling, but the over all consensus is I have a bipolar approach to life right now. But I'm excited this year is finally beginning and I think that I am happy that I am aware of the changes going on around me.

I just need to get past next week and things should look a lot better ...