"Let's face it, we've changed ... we've all changed. Somewhere between summer ending and school starting, we've all gone our own directions. Hearts were broken, friendships diminished, new loves started and new people came into our lives. We no longer spend all our time together in our circle of friends, we no longer talk for hours about nothing at all. We've changed ... some for the better and some for the worse. Some of us are finding love while others are trying to let go. Even though we've changed, we all know that even though were all finding our own place in the world, that when we find out love, when we let go of a love, when the tears fall or the happy smile spreads across our face ... we'll come to each other because no matter where this crazy world takes us and no matter what happens, nothing will ever change so much that we're not all best friends forever."

So I am pretty sure that connections, true connections to other people on this earth, are the best gifts that God gives us in this life. I love the moments when you can cut through all the bullshit of this life and just feel connected to someone. Whether it is in a romantic moment, a silly moment, a somber one ... the list goes on. But I just think that it is so amazing to share a moment with someone else. A moment no one but the two of you will ever understand. You never know when these moments will arrive. And you never know with whom they will either. They can happen with a boyfriend/girlfriend, a good friend, an acquaintence, or even sometimes a complete stranger. It's like we get shaken from the day to day stress and problems and for a second you feel connected to the rest of the world. To me, those moments make life worth living.

Even though I am so incredibly frustrated with my financial situation and my parents guilt tripping me about it daily ... I just try to take a step back and realize how lucky I am. I have an amazing boyfriend. I really think that this is the guy I have been waiting/looking for my entire life. I have friends who care about me and who I care about just as much. And I have a family who, although they have been stressing me out recently, love me and really want me to succeed in life. Sometimes I don't understand how people can be so pessimistic about their lives when we are all given such great gifts. Yes, people are dealt tough lives, and maybe I can't imagine what that must be like, but I just don't see how some people look past all the GOOD things that God gives us. Don't ask me where this came from, but just another thing I felt the need to get out there.

On a non philisophical note I have started looking back each day to a year ago in my blog. Did you know that exactly one year ago was Georgia's graduation party? One whole year. I just felt like pointing out that bizarre fact. Also, I did this quiz a year ago so I figured why not try it again and see what my results are this time ...

18.75 %

My weblog owns 18.75 % of me.
Does your weblog own you?

Wow ... last year I was 31.25% addicted. Yay for growth ;) lol

Oh man, what a lot of thoughts floating around in my head.

Last night I had a really great conversation with someone who before last night was just an acquaintence. It was one of those deep, connecting, talks that sort of comes out of no where. It ranged from mutual friends, to religion, to friendships and relationships, to pregnancy, and to all sorts of other things. I love when you make connections to new people. Even if it is just for one night, you will always feel bonded to that person when you see them again.

I learned a lot about myself last night. I didn't even know there was anything to learn or deal with, but some things came out last night that I really think God wanted me to hear. I'm attempting to capture last night's conversation in a blog post, but I'm pretty sure that that would be impossible. So instead I'll just leave that in vagueness ...

*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*

Still on a deep-ish note, a conversation with Jamie go me started thinking about something else. It's so crazy to think that all over the world people are living their own stories. And we are so caught up in our own lives and story, that I don't think we always think about what others may be going through. Driving down the expressway, if you look to your right into the car next to you there is a story there. And we may never know what it is.
We really are just living our story and going through our individual chapters, and once in a while someone else's story overlaps into ours. But a few chapters later, the stories may be completely seperate. And that doesn't mean that there was no point in knowing them. Sometimes people are brought into our lives and we can't see why or for what purpose, but without that experience perhaps our lives would go on a completely different track. And these stories are being written all over the world in millions and milllions of different books. Yet life is so intertwined. It just really gets you thinking if you spend to much time on it.
And really looking from God's point of view, ALL the stories are really One Story, and only He can see why things happen. All we can do is try to live for Him and do the best that we can as imperfect humans going through our story.

I don't even think I'm making sense to myself anymore ... but I just felt I needed to try to vocalize some of the things I have been thinking.

Well, good news first, I finally got a check today! score! $19 and something cents. Hey, it's more than I had this morning if you look at it that way. I hate living in a constant state of debt. I just feel so overwhelmed right now, like I'll never be able to save up enough to break even and start buying things on my own ever again. It's really frustrating, and I really regret that I didn't save up money during high school. Maybe if I hadn't gone to London I would be in a better position financially ... then again I don't think that I would take that back, it was a great experience and it was really worth it. Oh well, I just hope that I manage to pay back everyone by the end of the summer at least.

I spent another day with Maria today, not quite as adventurous as the day before (hahaha) but still a good day. I love Maria. I don't know what I would do without her.

I really hope that I get a call from Joe soon this weekend. I wonder how that conference is going and what is on his mind ... I miss him.

I feel bad that I didn't make Sarah's surprise party or whatever we were planning for Jamie. Today was just a bad night to make things. I hope everyone had fun and whatever respective places they went.

My eye hurts because I ran into a tree at Maria's. Ugh, I am a dumbass sometimes.

Many things on my heart and mind tonight.

The past 24+ hours have been terrific. I *finally* went to work at the Disney Store yesterday from 6-10. I was a little apprehensive since I didn't know anything about the merchandise, which is kind of the point of people who work places, don't you think? But it actually went just fine, I mainly just organized the shelves and things. And as I have a sick enjoyment for organizing and cleaning things it was quite enjoyable. I also realized the potential for running into random people while working is very high. Here's to hoping awkwardness of TOO much squirminess won't arise. I also almost fainted at work ... whoops. Flashbacked to when I used to faint nearly every other day in grade school (maybe that's a *bit* of an exageration but I *did* faint more than the average kid) Remind me to eat before going to work where I stand for 4 hours on end.

After work I headed to Maria's for the night. And as always had a fantastic time. We ran to Jewel at 11:30 pm. Officially the latest that I have grocery shopped. We spent the night talking and whatnot. Oh, AND exploring her basement which I now think is the coolest thing ever and I have decided that we are going to clean it out of all the piles of junk and make it a cool basement once again. I mean, people, it has a PADDED bar! And a fireplace! And a workout out room! and her room is down there! It has major potential. Plus, that whole anal/enjoys to organize and clean side of me comes out when I'm down there. I love projects! Among our basement discoveries was a book called "Nice Girls Do ... and Now You Can Too" Let me just say, that sex therapists of the 70s = scary and needing therapy themselves!!! I think that a grandfather have his 3 year old granddaughter play with his penis is more grounds for charges pressed than orgasms reached ... Wouldn't you agree. Okay nevermind I just freaked you all out. But we were freaked out too!!!!

This morning I had a call in shift at the Disney Store but it turns out they didn't need me. Bad for my financial situation but good for my Maria situation. We slept in till 1 (mmm!) and then spent some time basking in Lemont-ness. Always fun and amusing. Then we went on some *coughcough* errands. hehehehe .... ooooooh I love Maria. And I love me and Maria ... ooh and I wish I could explain haha. Then she treated to some Chinese food (have i mentioned that i loooooove her?) ps i miss Great Wall! Anyways ... After a late lunch we went to Victoria Secrets semi-annual sale. Which was both incredibly stupid and worth it. I'm in more debt to Maria, but she knows i'm good for it. And i bought some really cute things that I was in desperate lack of. After running a few more errands, maria and I ended back up at Maria's, and Joe joined us there. Maria and Joe finally got to meet, so I was glad about that. And I was glad to get to see Joe in general. I always am ...

Which brings me to the sappy/emotional part of this entry. To make a long story short and not share things about Joe's life on here, he's going through a bit of a controversy with his family and getting the blame and guilt for some things. I know that I care a lot about this kid because just knowing that he is going through that makes ME feel the same way. Even though it has nothing to do with me. I think I might feel just a as upset that he does. I wish that I could be right there next to him 24/7 to hold his hand and make things better. I'm glad that I can be there for him in the ways that I am though. I love him and I'm so lucky to have him. Okay, I'm sure you are sick of hearing that now ... so I'll be done.

OH! So Denise and I (and more?) may be going down to southern IL a day early for Greek Weekend and hanging out with Kane the night before. That would be awesome. I love that kid and it'll be so cool to visit him before Greek Weekend! I hope that I'm not working ... of course that will be the ONE day that I am though ... we shall see.

Also, quick note to say that Jamie Fiedler rocks, and even though Saturday is no important day and has no note or importance in ANY way. She is still not only my favorite roomie but quite possible one of my favorite people EVER! Without her my ENTIRE year would have unfolded differently. And way not as cool or fun! I love you Jamie!

ugh I am so frustrated. I got a ticket for parking over night in FoPo last night. I mean, I KNOW that you have to call cars in, but the thing is I got home at 3:15 and when I called the place no one answered :( I didn't really have a choice where to park, because the spot that our friend lets us use is being used (the reason i was parking in front in the first place) So now I owe my parents another $25. If they knew that you couldn't call in after a certain time do you think that they could have called it in for me before i got home? Or let me know? And this is really all because I didn't got next door and ask our new neighbors if we could share their spaces while we can't use our normal one. Why do I still find it so hard to talk to strangers and ask for things? When this kind of thing happens I still feel like a shy 10 year old. Honestly, I am pathetic sometimes.

So other than that parking fiasco, last night was a lot of fun. Random, yes, but fun. I stopped by the Lombard Bowling Monday night happening. I got to see some normal charaters such as Caryn (got to find out what awkward drama happenings I missed over the weekend, and get compared to someone COMLETELY unfair!), Ozga, Mark, KC, Sarah, Annie, Nick, Maggie, Christina, and Skryd. Plus Brian O'Connell, Eric Park, and Pete Tutanes. I had nearly forgotten what random Fenwick cameos felt like. So that was cool. After bowling Joe and I headed back to his house and chilled for a bit. I CAN'T WAIT TO GET BACK TO BRADLEY. Day by day I feel it more and more.

I FINALLY start work tomorrow. Let's hope that I can at least get out of debt by the end of summer! grumble grumble grumble

Man, what a kick-ass, out of order weekend :)

Friday night drinking with my girls and company kicked all forms of ass, and Saturday night in Milwaukee delivered as well. Jamie and I rolled into Joel's around 7 after being stared at by every Wisconsinite on the road (we KNOW we are hot illinois-ians, but please, can you not stare? lol). It felt a bit awkward at first being with Joel's friends who i didnt know. But once the night got rolling we had an awesome time. His friends Rick and Adam were great, as were a few other guys that I met. I learned 2 new drinking games to bring back to Bradley (FUCK YOU! , or Fuck Jamie!) and the Hookah was busted out. I got really buzzed off of that, I've never felt like that after smoking hookah, but this was a good one! There was much drinking, playing, smoking, discussions on breast sizes and ball conditions, and rocking out to Jamie's iTunes. Until Joel got a door dropped on his foot ... whoops. I crashed on the couch and then in the morning Rick, Cabari (?), and I cleaned up a little then just chilled by/in the pool. It was so gorgeous. We even managed to get Jamie in the pool and *gasp* in the sun when she got up! All in all it was an awesome night and day, I mean, for Milwaukee ;)

Then when Joe got back from his grandparents Father's Day celebration i headed over there and we just chilled and watched tv for a bit. Even though I had a lot of fun this weekend, I missed him a lot. I can't wait until we are back at Bradley and will be just across the street from him all the time. A little less than 2 months till we will be back! I can't wait. I am starting to miss Bradley more and more each day.

haha my brother called me when I was several drinks to the wind and left me a voicemail. I called him back around 1am and he told me that he had seen 2 of my "friends" from high school at the pool hall that he was at. My response ... "Did you punch them in the face?" "No, I talked to them" "ew, why did you do that? You SHOULD have punched him in the face!" Oh boy ...

I have no will power ...

[x] I have consumed alcohol. Like it's my job ...
[ ] I have run away from home.
[x] I have lied to my parents about where I am.
[ ] I listen to political music.
[x] I have collected comic books. Hey, Archie was the shit back in the day!
[x] I shut others out when I'm depressed.
[x] I watch the news.
[ ] I own over 5 rap CDs. I might own 5 rap SONGS ...
[ ] I own an iPod or MP3. *tear* no
[x] I love Disney Movies. Like it's my job ... oh wait ... it IS! Hell Yeah Disney Store!
[x] I am a sucker for eyes. Especially when they're looking into mine
[x] I curse regularly. FUCK shoes!
[ ] I paid for that cell phone ring.
[ ] I am a sports fanatic. I like to pose as one sometimes though
[ ] I love Spam.
[ ] I bake well. hahaha ... me? cook? You don't want that, I would blow up the kitchen!
[x] I would wear pajamas to school. Would? Did!
[ ] I own something from Abercrombie. And damn proud of it!
[x ] I have a job. Though you wouldn't be able to tell as they don't like to give me hours! :(
[ ] I love Martha Stewart.
[ ] I am guilty oF tYpInG lIkE tHiS.
[x] I am sometimes self conscious.
[x] I like to laugh. Who hates to laugh?
[ ] I smoke a pack a day
[x] I have cough drops when I'm not sick. mmm, the citrusy flavors are just so good!
[x] I can't swallow pills.
[ ] I can swallow about 5 pills at a time with no problem.
[ ] I have many scars
[x] I have been out of this country. Hell yeah London bitches!
[ ] I can't sleep if there is a spider in the room.
[x] I am really ticklish. Please don't remind Chris ...
[ ] I have seen a therapist.
[x] I love chocolate.
[x] I sometimes bite my nails.
[x] I play video games.
[x] I watch cartoons. Family Guy and the Simpsons count, right?
[x ] I have gotten lost in my city. This IS me, we are dealing with. Turns out that lower wacker drive is NOT a good route to take. You never know when a homeless man will be passed out behind a pillar ...
[ ] I have seen a shooting star.
[ ] I had a serious surgery done. Nope, thankfully.
[ ] I have gone out in public in my pajamas. Duh
[x] I have kissed a stranger. Literally ,on the drunken walk home from SAE I started talking to a random Bradley student and kissed him goodbye. I have no clue who he was. I might have met him since. I will never know ...
[ ] I have hugged a stranger.
[ ] I have been in a fist fight.
[ ] Been arrested.
[ ] Pushed all the buttons on an elevator. No, but Denise has a bad habit of doing that in Geisert and I always feel guilty by association
[x] Made out in an elevator.
[ ] Swore at your parents.
[x] Kicked a guy where it hurts. Well, it was more that I stepped on it, ON ACCIDENT! ... Chris and Marty love us hehehe
[ ] Been to a casino.
[ ] Been skydiving.
[ ] Broken a bone.
[x] Skipped school. I think that my Geology class must have thought that I died in the middle of the semester
[x] Played spin the bottle *Shudder* .... Chad ... ew!
[ ] Gotten stitches.
[ ] Drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour. Honestly who is checking this one off?
[x] Bitten somebody In Bug and Cali's room it is bite or be bitten haha
[ ] Been to Niagara Falls. Nope, but I've been to Kakabaka falls ... yep, I know you're jealous
[x] Gotten the chicken pox. Came down with it the morning of my First Communion ... I got to have my own special first communion lol
[x] Crashed into a friend's car. I accidentally backed into Stan's minivan the summer before senior year ... but it didn't leave a dent or anything so I didnt' say anything. Whoops, secret's out haha
[ ] Been to Japan.
[x] Ridden in a taxi.
[ ] Shoplifted.
[ ] Been fired.
[ ] Ever had a crush on someone of the same sex.
[x] Had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back.
[ ] Stole something from your job.
[ ] Gone on a blind date.
[x] Lied to a friend.
[ ] Had a crush on a teacher.
[ ] Celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans.
[ ] Been married.
[ ] Gotten divorced.
[x] Saw someone die. But ya know, on the bright side I could see the Thestrals if I attented Hogwarts ...
[ ] Been to Africa.
[x] Driven over 400 miles in one day. South Dakota is faaaaaaaar away
[x] Been to Canada. Just barely
[ ] Been to Mexico.
[x] Been on a plane.
[ ] Thrown up in a bar.
[ ] Eaten sushi.
[ ] Been snowboarding.
[x] Been skiing. 8th grade ski trip, first and last time
[ ] Been to a motor cross show.
[ ] Lost a child. There was that time I was watching a friend's kid and I left him on a city bus ... oh man was that a hilarious and wacky adventure ... oh wait ... that was a Friends episode
[x] Gone to college.
[ ] Graduated college.
[ ] Done hard drugs.
[ ] Had someone cheat on you. Not technically
[x] Smoked a cigarette.
[ ] Smoked a cigar. Do cigarellos count? Yeck Never doing that again.
[ ] Made out with a member of the same sex.
[ ] Slept with a co-worker.
[ ] Purposely set a part of myself on fire.
[ ] Been in an abusive relationship.
[x] Laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by.
[x] Made a snow angel.
[x] Had a tea party. Me and Susie used to have tea parties with my grandma when we stayed there. aww childhood memories
[ ] Flown a kite. Not in a looong time
[ ] Built a sand castle. Also not in a while
[x] Gone puddle jumping. hehe mainly to be obnoxious to people I was walking with
[x] Played dress up.
[x] Jumped into a pile of leaves.
[x] Gone sledding.
[x] Cheated while playing a game. Where'd you get all the pink 50's from huh grandma? I hate it when you're the banker! Don't touch me grandpa, nana is a cheating WHORE!
[x] Been lonely.
[x] Fallen asleep at work/school.
[x] Watched the sun set.
[ ] Felt an earthquake.
[ ] Touched a snake.
[ ] Slept beneath the stars. It's kind of impossible NOT to, they are very rarely beneath us loljk ... whoah, although technically I suppose they ARE above AND below us ... weird. I think too much sometimes
[x] Been tickled.
[ ] Been robbed.
[x] Been misunderstood.
[x] Won a contest.
[ ] Ran a red light.
[ ] Been suspended from school.
[x] Been in a car accident. Not my fault, for real!
[x] Had braces.
[x] Eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night. There is nothing wrong with stress eating
[x] Had deja vu.
[ ] Danced in the moonlight.
[x] Hated the way I looked. Too often ...
[ ] Pole danced.
[x] Been obsessed with post-it notes. What?, I like lists ok?
[ ] Squished barefoot through the mud.
[x] Been lost. hahahah do you know me?
[ ] Been to the opposite side of the country. What is the opposite side of the midwest?
[ ] Swam in the ocean.
[x] Felt like dying. Yep, this morning in fact ...
[x] Cried myself to sleep.
[x] Played cops and robbers. Ooh, more fun childhood memories ... Does it count if it was later called gayrods and assasins? Oh St. B's boys.
[x] Recently colored with crayons/colored pencils/markers.
[x] Sung karaoke. G910 might as well have been called a Kareoke bar lol
[x] Paid for a meal with only coins. hahaha yes, with Mary Rehor. I am such a dumbass.
[xxxxxxxxx] Done something I told myself I wouldn't
[ ] Made prank phone calls.
[ ] Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of my nose.
[ ] Caught a snowflake on my tongue.
[x] Danced in the rain. Julianne's grad party! Good times!
[x] Written a letter to Santa Claus.
[x] Blown bubbles.
[ ] Made a bonfire on the beach.
[x] Crashed a party.
[x] Gone rollerskating.
[x] Had a wish come true. And later came to wish that it hadn't in some cases
[x] Worn pearls.
[ ] Jumped off a bridge. Well, all my friends were doing it so i thought why not?
[x] Screamed penis in public. Oh, the maturity
[ ] Screamed vagina in public.
[ ] Ate dog/cat food.
[ ] Told a complete stranger I loved them.
[ ] Kissed a mirror.
[x] Sang in the shower.
[x] Had a dream that I married someone.
[x] Glued my hand to something. I used to glue my fingers together just for the hell of it
[ ] Got my tongue stuck to a flag pole.
[ ] Kissed a fish.
[ ] Worn the opposite sexes clothes.
[ ] Sat on a roof top.
[x] Screamed at the top of my lungs.
[ ] Done a one-handed cartwheel.
[ ] Talked on the phone for more then 6 hours.
[x] Stayed up all night.
[ ] Didn’t take a shower for a week.
[x] Climbed a tree.
[ ] Had a tree house.
[x] Are scared to watch scary movies.
[ ] Worn a really ugly outfit to school just to see what others say. Not on purpose ... jk
[ ] Played chicken.
[x] Pushed someone into a pool/lake with all their clothes on. hehe oh the SAE boys ... in particular Alex hehe
[ ] Been told I'm beautiful by a complete stranger.
[x] Been easily amused. sPaRkLe!
[ ] Caught a fish then ate it.
[ ] Caught a butterfly.
[x] Laughed so hard I cried.
[x] Cried so hard I laughed.
[x] Had someone moon/flash me. Another staple of most functiosn with my Bradley girls
[x] Cheated on a test.
[x] Have a Britney Spears CD . I'm sorry
[x] Forgotten someone’s name.
[ ] French braided someone’s hair.

Ohhhhhhhh ... I am never drinking ever again. I mean it this time. Wait, let's be honest, Jamie and I are partying at Joel's tonight. We're gonna do the Mary dance woo!

Last night was extremely out of order, in the best possible of ways. I got to party it up with my Bradley girls in Carol Stream. We busted out the Vanilla Vokda and Pepsi and let the good times roll. I met Jamie's friends Matt and Kevin who were exposed to the craziness that is Jamie, Denise, Kate, Sara, Lisa and I. Jamie was smashed after about 20 minutes. I love drunken Jamie! She's my favorite! The night led to crazy sing-a-longs, intense therapy sessions, deep talks, and of course conversations about sex. I miss Bradley so much! After a semi strange semi enlightening conversation with Chris I realized how much I miss just being at Bradley and getting to see random people every night. Being in such a close area with so many of my friends and acquantences. I love that atmosphere.

Here's to drunken good times in Milwaukee tonight!

2O RAND0M THiNGS AB0UT Y0U
1. I am a music whore, I give everything a chance and it's very rare that I find a genre of music that I can't stand.
2. I write poetry, I just don't show it to anyone but myself.
3. I am really proud of fact that I went to Catholic school for 14 years of my life.
4. My favorite thing to do sometimes is to drive around and sing at the top of my lungs to my cds.
5. I can wiggle my ears
6. I wish that I had the patience to write a novel.
7. I secretly enjoy creating / watching awkwardness among the fenwick group.
8. I feel like I am boring because I am having trouble thinking of interesting things about me.
9. My best friend from grade school has the same first name as me.
1O. I look forward to my wedding, mostly for imagining the guest list and having all of my friends there.
11. I used to be best friends with a psycho.
12. I regret being centered on a certain boy the majority of senior year
13. I am in love.
14. I am a Packer's fan, just cuz I like being a rebel like that.
15. I cry everytime I watch Pearl Harbor
16. I laugh outloud everytime I listen to Dane Cook
17. Sometimes I envy my friends who are blunt and speak their mind freely
18. My brother stole an cake from baskin robbins
19. I wish that boys would all have exotic accents and sing to us in real life
2O. I think that as long as I have my friends I will always be happy in this life

19 BEST M0ViES
1. CasaBlanca
2. Garden State
3. Moulin Rouge
4. Boondock Saints
5. All 3 Lord of the Rings
6. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
7. Office Space
8. The Breakfest Club
9. High Fidelity
1O. Before Sunrise and Before Sunset
11. Mean Girls
12. The Scream trilogy
13. Breakfast at Tiffany's
14. Finding Nemo
15. It's a Wonderful Life
16. The Little Mermaid
17. The Notebook
18. Phantom of the Opera
19. The Emporer’s New Groove

8 FAV0RiTE S0NGS
1. Nobody Puts Baby in a Corner [ FallOut Boy ]
2. Keg in the Closet [ Kenny Chesney ]
3. Since You've Been Gone [ Kelly Clarkson ]
4. Best Thing You Never Had [ Butch Walker ]
5. Save Tonight [ Eagle Eye Cherry ]
6. Japanese Gum [ Her Space Holiday ]
7. Life Got in the Way [ Sister Hazel ]
8. My Best Friend [ Tim McGraw ]
9. Better Together [ Jack Johnson ]
1O. Clark Gable [ Postal Service ]
11. Hallellujah [ Jeff Buckley ]
12. How Can I Live [ Ill Niño ]
13. Rapid Hope Loss [ Dashboard Confessional ]
14. Mona Lisas and Mad Hatters [ Elton John ]
15. Karma Killer [ Robbie Williams ]
16. Existentialism on Prom Night [ Straylight Run ]
17. The General [ Dispatch ]
18. Total Eclipse of the Heart [ Dan Band ]

17 BEST BANDS / SiNGERS / RAPPERS
1. Kenny Chesney
2. The Dan Band
3. 98 Degrees (for old times sake)
4. Her Space Holiday
5. Dashboard Confessional
6. Straylight Run
7. Hilary Duff
8. Ill Niño
9. Kelly Clarkson
1O. Fall Out Boy
11. Elton John
12. Counting Crows
13. AeroSmith
14. The Postal Service
15. Jack Johnson
16. O.A.R.
17. Guster

16 FAV0RiTE CELEBRITIES
1. Audrey Hepburn
2. Mandy Moore
3. Orlando Bloom
4. Natalie Portman
5. Zach Braff
6. Gerard Butler
7. Jack Black
8. John Cusack
9. Julia Roberts
10. Dane Cook
11. Ewan McGregor
12. Will Ferrell
13. Mike Meyers
14. Seth Green
15. Vince Vaughn
16. Paris Hilton (hahaha just kidding)

15 FRiENDS
1. Mary Rehor
2. Johanna
3. Caryn
4. Maria
5. Jamie
6. Denise
7. Katie
8. Bug
9. Joe
1O. Susie
11. Diana
12. Marty
13. Walters
14. Chris
15. The Clique (what? They can count as one person can't they?)

14 FAV0RiTE F00DS + DRiNKS
1. Cheese Pizza
2. Chicken Fingers/Strips
3. Pancakes
4. Avanti's Bread (AND BUTTER!!!! mmmm)
5. Mashed Potatoes
6. Diet Coke
7. Taco Tip
8. Vanilla Vodka and Coke
9. Egg Rolls and Rice from Great Wall
1O. Lucky Dog French Fries
11. Amoretto Stone Sours
12. Keystone! haha
13. Flavored Rice
14. Butterfinger flurries

13 MEM0RiES
1. My first drunken night in London (BPM! She has prettier toes than me and oh so many more memories)
2. When Johanna visited Bradley and our first serious fight
3. The weekend that Jamie and I went to Wisconsin TWICE
4. Lake Geneva weekend
5. Watching movies in Chris's basement with him, Johanna, and Marty
7. The night Joe and I first got together
8. Visiting Johanna in Omaha and the great talk we had that weekend
9. Katie's birthday and Swamp Water
1O. Banua senior year and doing STOMP
11. May Kairos '03
12. The night we met Jack and Ryan in the parking lot
13. The night that "never happened"

12 H0BBiES
1. updating my blog
2. music (downloading, listening, singing, dancing, looking up lyrics)
3. reading my friends blogs
4. drinking
5. wasting time with Joe
6. Being mocked by my friends
7. aim (talking and stalking people's away messages)
8. Drinkin'
9. Hookah
1O. Sleeping
11. making away messages
12. Did I say Drinking?

11 FAV0RiTE PLACES T0 SH0P
1. Borders
2. Dollar Tree
3. Blockbuster
4. Charlotte Russe
5. JC Penny's
6. Kohls
7. Bath and Body Works
8. Urban Outfitters
9. Victoria's Secret
1O. Gap
11. Old Navy

1O THiNGS AB0UT Y0U PHYSiCALLY
1. Tall (5'11")
2. Short Hair that used to be blonde but now is just trying to fake it
3. Slightly overweight
4. Painted toe nails, dark red
5. Brown eyed girl!
6. Almost always wearing my class ring and a necklace
7. Always red complexion which I hate
8. Usually breakout free
9. Currently a nice tan since my burn finally peeled away
1O. Usually a smile on my face

9 THiNGS Y0U CAN'T STAND
1. Hypocrites (which probably means that I can't stand myself at times, oh well)
2. People who are fake
3. Mint
4. Thinking that a friend is upset/unhappy when I can't help him/her
5. Going to any type of Doctor's office
6. Close minded people
7. Brian Mitchell
8. Missing out on events with friends
9. Losing frienships

8 FAV0RiTE SH0WS
1. THe OC
2. Friends
3. Buffy the Vampire Slayer
4. Dawson's Creek
5. CSI: Las Vegas
6. Daily Show with John Stewart
7. Sex and the City
8. Wonder Years

7 FAV0RiTE PLACES
1. G910
2. SAE
3. My Car
4. Joe's house
5. Maria's house
6. 7 Hampton Court
7. Anywhere my friends are

6 FAV0RiTE C0L0RS
1. Blue
2. Black
3. White
4. Pink
5. Red
6. Silver

5 C00L NAMES
1. Happy
2. Sleepy
3. Bashful
4. Doc
5. Dopey

4 G0ALS iN LiFE
1. Get married ... eventually
2. Live downtown for a year
3. Have 3 or 4 kids and a big backyard
4. Have a succesfull career that I have passion for

3 BAD HABiTS
1. Gossping
2. Compulsive Eating
3. Selfishness at times

2 HER0ES
1. Melissa Nemeth
2. Santa Clause

1 QU0TE Y0U LiVE BY
1. "Change is never easy. You fight to hold on. You fight to let go. "


Okay, I totally had no motivation during this survey and feel very dull and unwitty. I was really stretching to come up with some of these. but now it is finished. And I suppose that I can feel somewhat accomplished. You all had better do it too now ;)

BEST. DAY. EVER.

Today I have woken up with a completely new view of the summer. Goodbye funk. :)

Plus, Jamie's comment made me smile thiiiiiiiis big. Saturday will rock. G910 back in all its glory!!!

Last night was a lot of fun. Although it started out a little confusing. Joe and I got dinner at Panera and then ended up going bowling with Mary Rehor, Rob, Cedric, Adam, Walters, Marty, and Smeds. I hadn't seen any of those people in WAAAY too long. Sarah and KC chilled with us for a while too which was fun. It was great catching up with St. B's kids and awesome hanging out with Marty. I missed him! And everyone got along really great, I was really glad that all my friends and Joe got along so great. And apparently the consensus is that Joe shares a striking resemblence to Rob. Which I can handle, better than my brother.

Also got to briefly see Diana and Caryn (sorry I didn't call you), and Ozga, Stan, and Jen. So that was cool.

Still frustrated with my money situation, but in the long scheme of things, I just don't care right now!!! :)

I don't start work till Wednesday. GRRRRR. How frustrating. I have the worst luck, I swear! First I can't find a job even though I am looking, then I think i have one in an office, then i find out that is just sometimes, then i find disney store, then it takes forever to get on the schedule and i probably won't even have that many hours!!! *HMPH* i'm a little annoyed right now ...

And also something else has been on mind. I feel like I've been in a huge funk this past month or so, just escaping from it from time to time when I'm out with friends. It's probably nothing, I've just been feeling really odd. Blah.

Grrr. I have $6 to my name. Literally. No more in any bank account, no more hidden away from myself. I have $6. And my mom just cut me off for the summer. I am a very sad girl. I don't even know if I can ask for gas money anymore (although I hope that i can!) Why can't paychecks for the summer come ahead of time?!? And I hope to God I don't have any unexpected finances coming up that I need to factor in.

Grr to "responsibilites" and "being independent".

The thing that ticks me off about this is that I have been good about not asking my mom for money when I go out. I've been using the VERY little money i had saved up. (and when i say little i mean like $20 that i have stretched over the past few weeks) I only asked her for gas money. So now all that money is gone and now that i need money I can't ask for it.

Boo. Boo. Boo.

I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you. You are a whore and I wish you would live under a rock where you couldn't bother me or anyone I know.

Okay good, now that that is out of my system ...

Um actually, now that that is out of my system I can' think of anything worth saying. Next few days should be fun, so woo for summer shaping up to be quite allright!

Man, I am bad. I honestly take pleasure in talking about awkward topics and creating tension. I'm twisted. I guess it's just because I have no qualms about my past anymore and I don't mind talking about anything. And I dunno, I'm just sick really. And I apologize for obsessively bashing/complaining about someone tonight with the girls. It's a disease really. But thanks for letting me vent even if I created massive sing-a-longs with attempts to change the subject lol

So the other night when I couldn't sleep I started writing sort of a reflection of guys in my past. And it has turned into sort of a romantic/sexual autobiography. I actually feel really good about it. I wrote about everything I've learned from each situation and how I felt. It's a really cleansing thing to do. I mean, I'm not even doing anything with it when I'm done. But it feels good to have a place to just write and be completely honest about everything. I highly endorse it. I laughed at the suggestion of posting it online. That might create a bit too much awkwardness even for me.

I start work tomorrow! Finally! By the end of the summer I MAY be out of debt. AND I'll have a new Harry Potter cd, a new Dane Cook cd and dvd and have seen the Dan Band. Having money saved up for the year? Well that might be quite another story.

Yay for girls movie night which I love immensely. And also for Friends (the tv show) is also muy cool, and hey so are the real ones.

I think that's all the update that I've got in me for now. Goodnight

in f o r m a t i o n
1.name: Mary
2. single or taken: Taken :)
3. sex: female
4. birthday: November 8th, 1985
5. sign: scorpio
6. siblings: Johnny, 17 and Sheila, 12 ... holy cow when did they get that old? weird.
7. hair color: desperately trying to hold on to my blonde
8. eye color: brown with a hint of green
9. shoe size: 10ish
10. height: 5'11" ... turns out I'm not 6 ft as i used to claim.
11. favorite foods: ugh, these days it seems like anything. I have rediscovered the grilled cheese sandwich this summer though, mmm
12. hometown: FoPo baby!

r e l a t i o n s h i p s
1. do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?: yep!
2. did you send this to your crush?:
3. did your crush send this to you?:
4. longest relationship?: I'm in it ... almost 4 months
5. how many actual relationships have you been in?: how do you define 'actual' lol I guess the answer would be 3.
6. how many people have you kissed?: Oh God, a number? .... 13. Well hey, at least i can remember them all!!!
7. are you shy around your crush?: assuming my crush is my boyfriend, i think i'm past that 'shy' phase
8. do you indulge in random hook-ups?: hahahahahahahaha ... not presently no.
9. still have feelings for anyone you've been in a past relationship with?: Are we talking about those "actual relatinships"? If so I think the questions is whether I really had feelings for them ever. As for the others ... not anymore thankfully
10. do you know what it feels like to be in love?: yes, I think that I do.
11. would you sacrifice your favorite possession for your best friends?: hmm ... considering I would say my favorite possesions are my pictures ... I think that would be paradoxical wouldn't it?

f a s h i o n s t u f f
1. where is your favorite place to shop: I don't even know where to begin ... depends.
2. have any tattoos or piercings?: Just my ears ... I'm boring I know.
3. what is your favorite thing to wear?: anything that makes me look skinny
4. what is a must have accessory?: my class ring and a necklace with either kairos cross, claddaugh, or something else. and used to be my watch before it stopped *tear*
5. how much is the most you've ever spent on a single item of clothing?: probably on my prom dress or something
6. who is the most fashionable person you know?: hmm ... I don't know. man i suck at doing this survey.
8. who is the least fashionable person you know?: me lol no just kidding i don't know. maybe mary rehor but thats just because she doesnt care, rock on with that lol
9. do you match your belt with your hair color?: lol no i don't even match it with my outfit usually ;) lol jamie
10. what is the worst thing you've ever thought looked good?: Oh god, we don't have the time for that ... What would I do without Jamie giving me that look telling me not to wear things out haha
11. what are you wearing right now?: black workout shorts and a white tank top. it's hot!
12. how many pairs of shoes do you own?: more than I need probably

s p e c i f i c s
1.do you do drugs? Can you define "do"
2. what kind of shampoo do you use?: Whatever my mom has in the shower
3. what are you most scared of?: Losing close friends or thinking that I've let them down
4. what are you listening to right now?: Eminem. My ITunes is on random, please don't shoot me lol
5. who is the last person that called you?: Maria, but I didn't answer. I'm sorry.
6. where do you want to get married?: A church ... like i've said, that's all i've got figured out
7. how many buddies are online right now?: 57
8. what would you change about yourself?: my dependence on food. Can I EVER not be eating? and to stop worrying about what others impressions of me are
9. what are essentials in your life?: the people I love ... and money unfortunately
10. if you had the power to do any one thing, what would it be? To be able to control certain .... situations.
11. what nationality are you?: Completely Irish!
12. do you send out holiday cards each year?: Nope. I try sometimes.

h a v e y o u e v e r
1. given someone a bath? My sister back in the day.
3. bungee jumped?: nope, deathly afraid of those kind of heights. Maybe one day we'll conquer that.
4. made yourself throw up?: Nope
5. skinny dipped?: nope
6. made yourself cry to get out of trouble?: lol it's possible
7. cried when someone died?: Absolutely
8. fallen for your best friend?: Ugh. Yes. Kinda. Oh man ...
9. been rejected?: Yes.
10. rejected someone?: Yes.
11. used someone?: I'd like to say no, but I would probably be lying

c u r r e n t
1. hair: pullled back, like i said, it's HOT!
2. music: Aluminum, Barenaked Ladies ... iTunes still on random
3. make-up: none. i didnt go anywhere today.
4. annoyance: my lack of energy lately
5. scent: sweat .. mmmm. lol
6. favorite artist: Just one? hm ... Ill niño at the moment
7. favorite group: Counting Crows or FallOut Boy or Dashboard or Ill Niño or so many others
8. desktop picture: A picture of Smedinghoff and Walters ... doing ... I have no idea what.
9. book you're reading: To be determined ... I'm going to the library this week to feel like I am doing something with my days
10. cd in player: Ill Niño
11. dvd in player: The NoteBook, I watched it with my mom the other night. If you think YOU cried when you watched it! ... oh boy lol
12. color of toenails: Dark Red.

1) Using band names/artists, spell out your name: Madonna, Aerosmith, Rascall Flats, Yellow Card .... Dan Band, O.A.R., No Doubt, Orgy, Gin Blossoms, Her Space Holiday, the Used, Eagles
2) Have you ever had a song written about you? Not yet. ;) lol
3) What song makes you cry? Danny Boy
4) What song makes you happy? G910 songs!!! among others ...
5) What do you like to listen to before bed? *shrugs*

I HAVE A JOB!!!!! :)

AAAAND

I got to have good coversations with Johanna (first time since she left), Susie, Joe, Johnny, and Jamie! Life is beginning to get good again!

So I *might* have a job. I had an interview today at the Disney Store in OakBrook and I think that it went really well. I should hear sometime next week whether I'm hired. Maybe that will help me get un-stressed out. I've been breaking out and over-eating and gaining weight among other things all because I've been stressed out. Blah. But 2 major things have been hopefully resolved recently so hopefully I will be zit free and skinny soon lol.

Man, I suck at seeing people this summer. What do I do with all my time? honestly! I sleept ill 1 and then sit on my ass and somehow time passes. I need a project, or better just a job lol. I haven't seen Susie since Peoria, which is just unexusable. I haven't spent a lot of time with Mary Rehor, or Melissa, or even Marty, Mark, and Walters. What the hell do I do with my frickin' time?? But I HAVE managed to spend some awesome times with Caryn, Diana, Maria, and Joe so the summer has not been all in waste so far.

HOLY SHIT. The Dan Band is coming to the House of Blues July 29th!!!! And tickets are only $18.0. I MUST see that show. Hopefully Jamie is up for it too.

Later ...