You don't have to go home but you can't stay here

Attention all devoted readers of this blog.

I have decided that my blogging days are behind me. And am hereby retiring Foblonde102.blogspot.com.

Thanks for your loyalty and support :-)

Wow.



I probably should not blog in a state of emotional confusion and so close the the eve of a new year, but why not throw another bad decision into 2008?



I just realized that I still have some blog entries that have been in draft since I wrote them. Things I didn't intend to publish and things I entirely had forgotten about. It's odd to read words you wrote years ago and realize in hindsight that you were completely lying to yourself. But comforting to know that those situations are far behind me. I'm so glad to be past some of the times I was writing about.



The weirdest one to read involved the beginning of my relationship with Joe :



" *sigh* i really really really hate this ... more than any other guy situation I've ever been in ... Because this one is so honest and true ... and the guy says just the right things which makes it just that much worse. But I meant it when I said that I would rather be his friend than never talk to him again. I just hate that I know exactly where he's coming from, which means I've been in this situation before, just not on this side of it ... and holy shit does this side suck. . . . I'm sorry I'm such an emotional mess. i wish ... i wish a lot of things ... but mostly that i could just forget any of this ever happened .... "



Although the draft I found was a little heart breaking it makes me feel so good to know that even in the beginning when I wasn't sure where it was going that I recognized that he was something special and already meant more than my previous fixations and obsessions. And it makes me happier than I can describe that I somehow managaged to keep him. :-)

FYI I wrote that draft on February 12th, 2005. Which is also our anniversary. So clearly my night got better than when I wrote that. Probably why I didn't publish it.




Okay fast forward from the past to the present - for some end of 2008 ramblings.

This past year has been one of a lot of growth and also a lot of fun. The first 5 months made up the end of my college career while the last 7 months have marked the beginning of a new chapter. I must say that over all I definitely am enjoying post grad life. I still find myself restless and not as content as I should be with desires of moving out and being engaged and being converted from contractor to employee but I know that all of those things will come (hopefully most in 2009!)

As I look back on 2008, many unforgettable moments come to mind. January started the year off with a bang as I took J-Term in London with Sara and visited Dublin. That was an unforgettable trip and Sara and I made so many lasting memories together. I think that's when we really started becoming such good friends. When you can be in the same space with someone for 2 weeks and not want to kill them you know something is right. February brings countless trips to Wise Guys to mind. March included a good old fasioned college spring break to Florida with my favorite guys plus Sara. April and May saw the conclusion of my college career with many rites of passage such as KD Senior Wills, Senior Walk, moving out of rehab and of course - graduation. I graduated on a Saturday and began working the following Monday. Preceded by a Sunday night of bawling myself to sleep because I couldn't stand the thought of college being over and living at home for the foreseeable future.


I soon got over those feelings and began the adjustment to 'real life'. The summer was certainly one of transition but soon I got used to living at home again. I love Chicago and can't imagine ever being away again. Living with the parents isn't ideal but is infinitely better than dealing with the drama that permanently existed at rehab. I'm so glad to be past that chapter. I'm also grateful to be able to still have great friendships with my roommates with one exception.

All things considered 2008 was an amazing year. And it's not often that I have such good feelings about an entire year. The end of the year finds me in a pretty good place. I really enjoy my job (although I wish the economy didn't blow so I had a little bit more job security), I have great friends and family (although I wish some of them were closer to Chicago), I'm financially independant (although I wish I could learn to save a bit more), and Joe makes me infinitely happier every day.

I hope each of you are as happy as I am at the close of 2008 and I wish you nothing but the best in 2009!

Tail of the Sun

1. Put your iPod (or MP3 player) on shuffle. 2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer. 3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS! 4. Tag friends who might enjoy doing the note as well as the person you got the note from.

IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY? "83''- John Mayer

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY? "I Cried"- Joey McIntyre

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL? "Where My Girls At"- 702

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE? "Sail Away"- David Gray

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO? "When She's Gone"- Mary Chapin Carpenter

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU? "Then They Do"- Trace Adkins

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN? "Hands Down"- Dashboard Confessional

WHAT IS 2+2? "Push"- Matchbox 20

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND? "Tyrone/No More Drama"- The Dan Band

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE? "Ms Jackson"- Outkast

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY? "She is a Diamond" -Evita Soundtrack

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP? "Juke Box Blues"- Reese Witherspoon (Walk The Line)

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE? "Twisted"- Carrie Underwood

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU? "Little People"- Les Miserables

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING? "Love Rollercoaster" - Ohio Players

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL? "When I Look to the Sky"- Train

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST? "Burn Burn"- Lost Prophets

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET? "Something"- The Beatles

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS? "(You Drive Me) Crazy"- Britney Spears

WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN? "Love"- Rosey

HOW WILL YOU DIE? "Say My Name"- Destiny's Child

WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET? "Chocolate Factory"- Veggie Tales

WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH? "Bare Necessities"- Baloo, Jungle Book

WHAT MAKES YOU CRY? "Last Train Home"- Lost Prophets

WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED? "Everything Reminds Me of Her"- Elliot Smith

WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST? "How to Save a Life"- The Fray

DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU? "Where are You Now?"- Michelle Branch

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE? "January Friend"- Goo Goo Dolls

WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW? "Alicia Amnesia"- Butch Walker

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS? "Tail of the Sun" - Stroke 9

I found out some sad news from the Donoghue household the other day (on one of the rare moments I was actually home during non-work hours) – We won’t have anyone home to hand out Halloween candy! This is the fist time this has happened in my 22 year memory. I’ll be out of town, my dad is working 2nd shift, my mom has class, my brother and sister have plans … We really are old now. This is a sobering realization.

Life is good right now … I’ve been keeping busy and I have some fun plans and travel coming up so I’m excited. The holidays are going to be here before I know it!

I’ve been continuing the project of printing out my pictures from the past 3 years … I just received prints getting me up to date as of August 2007. It is odd printing pictures of people I’m not even friends with anymore. But I guess no time or energy is wasted that gets you to be the person you are today surrounded by the friends that stick with you.

I’m seeing Dirty Dancing tonight with Johanna to celebrate our birthdays and tomorrow I am seeing Wicked! I’m very excited. Then I leave for Boston Saturday, there for work until Thursday, heading to NJ to visit Maria with a daytrip to NY to visit Amy and I come back just in time for my birthday week. One more week after my birthday and I’m off to DC for a week and I come back for Thanksgiving week.

Time. Is. Flying. By!


Honestly – I am loving this post-college life right now. I still miss certain people that for some reason did not move immediately to the Chicago-land area. (They'll come to their senses) I love my job – traveling occasionally, working at home 2-3 days/week, oh and I don’t mind the event-planning part either. I love that I come home from work at can spend my time doing what I want to – not writing a paper or working a part-time job. I don’t have to avoid any of my roommates or worry about explosions. I can use my weeknights and weekends to see Joe, get together with friends and do random projects that I want to do.

After visiting Peoria three times these past few months I can safely say that I am so much happier living here. Chicago beats Peoria hands down every time.

Okay this past post has been entirely too optimistic. I’m going to stop updating before God decides I am too happy and throw something awful my way …

I was looking at college pictures on Facebook today: I know when it was bad it sucked majorly but when we were good we had a hell of a lot of fun. Life is funny.

Separate thought: It is somewhat scary when you have an irrational fear of something and then you realize WHY and that it's not that irrational.

I think that I am going to have the same character flaw my entire life. Most of the time I am a great friend, but sometimes I am selfish and make poor decisions.

I'm sort of excited for High School Musical 3. I really am a 13-year old girl at heart.

Several thoughts after last night's festivities ...

Is it wrong for a 22 year old to bring a flask to a Sweet 16th Bday Party?

Sheila's party was WAY more fun than any Fenwick dance I have ever attended. Points for her.

It's interesting to think of what percentage of people that were at MY 16th birthday party I'm actually still friends with.

So far Sheila doesn't have anyone with a lesbian crush stalking her. So she's worlds ahead of me.

Crashing the class of '03 reunion was a nice little prep for next year ....

I learned that Mr. Scheoph hasn't lost any cool points since i was 17. I also learned that Fenwick boys never really grow up from that immature think they are kings of the world attitude. Point in case - 1 boy chronicly unbuttoning his shirt (oh no there was no under shirt on underneath) 1 boy deciding to upstage first boy and complely remove his own shirt. (names withheld to protect the ... idiocy) and finally third boy finding an abandoned table of dinner goers and finishing ALL the food left on their plates.

Who's up for a pre-party at my house prior to our wonderful reunion? We can look at old photos and get drunk enough to enter a bar filled with our favorite and not high school comrades.

High school filled evening leads to veeeeeeeeery strange dreams including this highlight: I was leaving one bar and a particularly disliked figure from my past was entering. "Whoa, you're leaving already?" "Oh no, just heading to O'Sullivans, I'd rather go somewhere new" "You just don't want to see me, that's why isn;t it?" "Yes, actually you make me ill and it works out well that I'm leaving as you are coming"

Also apparently I decide that making plans with people that I usually strive to avoid is a good idea when I am drunk and in a reunion like mode on Madison Street .. oh my.

I need a girl's movie night STAT! :-)

I have relatively grasped the fact that I graduated and will not be in Peoria for the next 9 months. However, I have yet to come to terms with the fact that life at Bradley goes on without me.

Spirit Week came and went without me, Welcome week is wrapping up with out me ... Kappa Delta is prepping for recruitment and SAEs are playing Beer Pong without me ...

I especially feel nostalgic when I see my sophomore year sorority sisters via Facebook moving into the house and having a blast. They don't even know how much fun and growing is in store for them ...

Granted, I am glamorizing how shitty the "growing" part can be, but it sure is fun along the way!

Meanwhile "grownup" life continues per usual here ...

I was a little bummed middle of this week because I found out that contractors can't travel internationally, while I was under the impression that we could ... But then I realized that I was getting unhappy with a job that I enjoy doing and which lets me work at home Mondays and Fridays. Then I snapped out of my funk real quick.